oh thank god

i got a job.

it’s a temp job – three weeks in a microsoft call center. i’m sure it’ll suck, but at least i can remind myself (if and when it sucks) that it’s only a three week job. i’ll get paid $9, and work full-time for those three weeks. i’ll actually be able to pay my bills at the end of the month. who’da thunk it?

what i thought was going to be an interview this morning actually turned out to be me sitting and taking “personality” tests and filling out forms for close to two hours. the personality tests claimed to be so that the agency would know what sort of jobs were good to place me in, but that claim was belied by the fact that most of the questions were something like this:

1. I like to steal.
a. strongly disagree
b. slighty disagree
c. not sure
d. slightly agree
e. strongly agree

2. I hate authority figures.
a. strongly disagree
b. slighty disagree
c. not sure
d. slightly agree
e. strongly agree

3. I will rape you.
a. strongly disagree
b. slighty disagree
c. not sure
d. slightly agree
e. strongly agree

the real test was actually designed to see if you were intelligent enough to figure out what answers they wanted to hear: “is it okay to be late?” …well, what would Super Employee say? “Zounds, no! Perish the thought!”

mostly it all just hurt my brain.

turns out, though, that i do actually type at 70wpm. so i can put that on my resume for reals now.