tell me what you don’t like about yourself


In preparation for Nip/Tuck Season Three (and, well, Two, since – other than the season premiere – I hadn’t watched that yet, either) I decided to rewatch Season One this week. Boy was I glad I did – it was just as good the second time around (not counting when I watched the first couple of episodes last Christmas when it was given to me), and I forsee rewatching it again in the future. It was great, and I loved it, but I definitely noticed little plot holes here and there, which is not uncommon, I’ve noticed, in the first seasons of many shows, no matter how good they may be. The first seasons of Buffy and Angel had the same problem, and if Farscape didn’t have plotholes that first season, it definitely had a few episodes that annoyed me.

But every time there was a little inconsistency in Nip/Tuck, it only took a short amount of time before I was won over again by the sheer incredible force of the writing. My favorite episode from the first season involves the doctors being re-certified. Specifically, they have to perform procedures on severed heads taken from cadavers. As is the twisted nature of the show, Sean’s severed head starts talking to him. That same episode also has one of the most moving scenes in the whole show so far, as Sean spends the last few moments with his mistress, who is dying of cancer. It’s a testament to the power of the show that she quotes The Wizard of Oz in that scene – “Goodbye, Scarecrow! I’ll miss you most of all!” – and makes a movie reference into something that speaks volumes of emotion.

It had been my understanding that Nip/Tuck Season Two started at the level of quality and intensity of Season One and only ratcheted it all up even further from there on out, and so far it has not at all disappointed in that respect. If season one is a five out of five, there have been moments when I’ve thought season two was a six out of five. I keep yelling at the screen after every new revelation and twist. Famke Janssen’s guest starring role is the best acting she’s ever down, hands down. She steals every scene she’s in.

I actually got so into it tonight that I plowed through a good chunk of episodes – I’ve only got four more left to go, so I might actually be ready in time for the premiere on tuesday night!

You know, it’s funny how strongly I feel about the shows I’ve been watching. Sure, I could get out more and get some exercise, but I’ve always been that way, and considering the calibre of what I watch, I feel as though every time I sit and watch two or three episodes, I’ve just had a master class in writing. And I’m not just talking about Nip/Tuck, or Farscape, or Six Feet Under. I’m talking about Buffy and, yes, perhaps even The OC. I’m appreciating good art, and watching these last few episodes tonight has made me feel invigorated – they have been just the reward and release that I needed after what was, honestly, a pretty damn crappy week.

In Buffy-specific news, I look forward to buying The Chosen Collection very soon, especially since Seasons 5-7 have all sold, and I came away with $80 total.

It also helps that I bought my GRE book off tonight. Now all I have to do in that respect is study and pick a time to take the test. I need to pick well, though, since the damn thing costs $115, and the most refund you can get back is $60 if you cancel.

On the graduate school subject, there are a few fronts that need serious consideration:

1. The GRE, of course. Under the same heading, I suppose, could be my official transcript. I vaguely remember how I did during my junior and senior years of college, which is both good and bad. I think it all averages out to over a 3.0, but I can’t say for sure, especially since I know that I got some of my worst grades in those years (bad for me, at least).

2. Recommendation letters. I feel like I have two sure bets, but that pesky third spot is eluding me, especially because I don’t feel comfortable asking my former playwriting professor for a recommendation. We ended that independent study on such bad terms, and I haven’t spoken to him since, mostly out of shame.

3. My portfolio. What I do have needs to be rewritten, but writing new stuff is probably a good idea as well. First, I’ll have to pin down the focus I want to choose within writing. The program i’m interested in allows you to pick a primary and a secondary focus, but your writing sample has to be catered towards your primary focus. As of right now, the only primary focus I could pick is playwriting, simply because it’s the only area of the four possible (playwriting, screenwriting, fiction, poetry) that I even have worthwhile samples.

Finally, I appear to have forgotten how to type… I keep making ridiculous typos, leaving out words and replacing them with other words. Alternatively, it’s possible that the connection between my brain and my fingers is currently shakier than normal since it’s so late at night. With that, I think it’s time for bed.

could he treat you better?

so, as usual, i’ve been neglecting this website lately. i justify that because i only spent $9 for a year of hosting. who cares what i do with it, really? that’s practically free, if you get down to it. of course, that doesn’t necessarily convince me, either…

see, this webspace has all of this _potential_ that i’m not tapping into… fun stuff like ruby on rails and another two gigs of untapped storage. luckily daniel has movies stored on his site, or hardly any space would be taken up.

but, let’s be honest here – we all know what i’m _really_ talking about (take that, transitions!) i’m good at neglecting potential lately, according to my conscience and everyone i talk to when i complain about being bored with my life/job/whatever. beau gets an annoyed look whenever i complain about these things. we’ve been over this, he’s said his piece, and everyone else i talk to says the same thing.

so, really, what is it? i have some vague ideas knocking around in my head, but no compelling desire to write them down at the moment, even with the whining.

last night tony was talking about the creative writing program at UT, which is _very_ competitive and small, but sounded really nice. tony has a chance to get into a program like that – he’s about to take the GRE, and he has an ever-growing portfolio of work.

his enthusiasm for the idea was infectious, which was nice. it was good to remember what that kind of enthusiasm feels like… but then i turned over in my head what it would take to get me into such a program. all i can think about is the fact that my portfolio is anemic at best, and definitely dying on the vine (what with no new work since the mid 2004’s).

i am apparently the kind of writer douglas adams was. he was apparently legendary for his ability to make an endless number of sandwiches and take an equally infinite number of baths to avoid writing anything. one anecdote i seem to remember reading about him is that his agent once locked him in a hotel room with nothing but a typewriter just to get him to finish a book.

So, with no impetus, nothing happens.

The other problem that comes along with this is talking to people at parties about what I’m doing with my life: “Er, yeah, no… i work at Apple Computer. No, no… I haven’t written anything since I graduated. How about you? …Oh, working in a theatre, huh? That’s great, good for you…”


Q: So… you work at Apple now, but… what do you want to end up doing, then?

A: Uh, well… something creative. Writing, I guess, or maybe film, or photography. And… I don’t want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don’t want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don’t want to do that.



Yeah, so… when I got cable in my new place, I bit the bullet and decided to go without digital cable or a dvr in an effort to save money. I thought to myself “I’ll buy some more blank tapes and program the VCR. I’ll be fine with standard cable.”

This all came to a screeching halt when I realized that… no matter what I do, my VCR blithely ignores whatever program I enter into it. The screens say things like “10pm Saturday Channel 68” and “Program Saved” and then I wake up in the morning and my tape is still blank even though the program was very clear.

I try setting programs for a minute from now… nothing. I try leaving it on when the program should start, then I try another program with it turned off… nothing.

I’m starting to twitch here. I don’t think I’m going to be able to hold out on that DVR after all…