losing my edge

Well, it’s official. I find _myself_ boring now. I have two subjects on which I can speak, at length, and they are:

1. my job, and how it is boring me to death

2. Buffy the Vampire Slayer and other tv-show-on-dvd-related pursuits

(but, really, i mostly talk about Buffy.)

I seem to remember that I used to be able to carry on interesting conversations with people. Or something. I don’t know what it was, really… maybe it was all of the different classes i was taking, and the play(s) i was writing, and basically all the very different things that happened in my day-to-day life.

…yeah, that sounds like the thing.

sometime yesterday afternoon I knew that I was too… frustrated and aware of it… to come away from the party last night without being a little sadder and hung up on some girl younger than my younger brother. this, despite my fondest hope that i would just drink and hang out with my friends, nothing more.

and, of course, it happened… that girl i got a little crush on last time i went to a party was there, of course, and i re-crushed on her instantly. damn. since the whole thing has entered into that “crush” territory, it’s already broken, and I need to figure out how get over it, and quick. the last time i did this with regards to her, it made me twitch every wednesday night because i seriously considered driving down to georgetown to hang out in case i might see her or something.

i was finally able to kill it when someone told me that she was interested in another sig, and that they would most likely start dating. in such a situation, crushing is inadvisable. however, that situation has now passed.

to make matters even stupider, i’ve got her phone number. i have this because she lost her cell phone and i called it for her so that it would ring and she would find it. this is far too tempting, even though the sensible part of me knows that i could never use a phone number gained in such a way because of the sheer creepy-weird factor. (“oh, right.. you got my number _that_ way…”)

urgh. must get my mind off this crap.